NCCA Issues TRO Against Tekken 7 from PH stores because of the first Filipino fighter’s portrayal

[Reference note: This is an April Fools' article.]

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[Picture: Josie Rizal wallpaper. Text: (Photo credit: www.wheninmanila.com)]

The NCCA or the National Commission of the Culture and the Arts (not to be confused with the basketball organisation) have issued a TRO or a Temporary Restraining Order against the selling of Namco’s Tekken 7 unless if the company would heed to the demands of this very illustrious governmental body.

The game, known for ruining a lot of childhood memories and a direct rip off of Mortal Kombat is set to release sometime in 2015 as the 7th installment of the franchise. Apparently, the NCCA have the power to ban games based on inaccurate portrayals of the country, because real projects such as the translation of Spanish documents to Filipino or sponsoring archaeology excavations are less important than this noble crusade. The NCCA has apparently focused their agenda over a video game character than the ongoing construction of Torre De Manila which they have also issued a TRO in the first place.

The first Filipino character in the franchise is named as “Josie Rizal”, a tribute to the Philippine national hero. In a press statement issued by the Chairman of the NCCA Dr. Renato Almoranas (Butthurt), he stated that;

[Start quote]
Josie Rizal has been portrayed as a very liberal woman dressed on skimpy clothes and have dubious fighting styles which invites both misogyny and the corruption of the country’s moral foundations. I am a fan of video games myself and I spent my personal money buying the entire Soul Calibur franchise, but I haven’t seen such an offensive portrayal on our people. The NCCA has the right to be concerned about our nation’s standing and image, since we are groomed to be one of Asia’s powerhouses and we need to keep a good image especially on our very efficient government
[End quote]

Dr. Almoranas is known to be a massive fan of fighting games and is known in the Philippine gaming community as “KantoBoy69″ and has apparently mastered Talim, another Filipino character from one of the popular fighting game franchise known as Soul Calibur, the game which is marginally better than most fighting games for the purpose that you have handheld weapons.

Critics speculate that Almoranas’ decision stems from the fact that he hated the Tekken franchise because his 5-year grand daughter is known to have beaten him occasionally much to his frustration that he has become the alughing stock of the Tekken community. Some have speculated that the banning of Tekken 7 from Philippine stores is motivated by Acclaim Entertainment, the brains behind the Mortal Kombat franchise as a technique to eliminate competition and force gamers to release their violent tendencies through the DLC’s that Acclaim is ready to offer for a “Philippine” experience” after the colossal failure of their DLC’s in America.

Acclaim is yet to issue a statement regarding the speculation, but the TRO has already been submitted to the Office of the President. The President is known to despise the Tekken franchise and prefers playing Need For Speed instead, which might hamper his personal decision over the matter.